The It’s gonna be a quickie today as I am in Knowlton, Quebec visiting my parents, you know, the people most responsible for all of my emotional traumas. Geez, does that sound harsh, or what? Of course they are! That unit was the single greatest influence in my young life. They are also the people who taught me to laugh, who gave me a work ethic, and who introduced me to some of the greatest gifts in my life.
Most importantly, I wouldn’t be who I am without them. Damn, I wouldn’t be without them. Now, I could tell you that I didn’t choose to be here - that was all on them (and a drunken Christmas season in 1966) - but there are some who will tell you that a soul chooses her family. Maybe I am ultimately responsible for the family I chose. I like the idea of that; I am here with them to teach and to learn. No, I guess that’s not 100% accurate, is it? I don’t get to decide if someone else learns. That’s all on them. They have to be open to it.
That’s a tough one for me. I am feeling a million times better than I was six-ish years ago. Why can’t I bring my loved ones with me? Or, rather, why can’t I convince them to join me on this journey? Too many of my people don’t get the five-by-five rule (thanks to Faith on Buffy the Vampire Slayer for introducing me to the concept), which says, if it’s not going to matter in five years, don’t spend more than five minutes worrying about it. The resulting emotions vacillate between frustration and anger. And over what? A traffic snag or a blown football play? In the preseason?
Nope, I’m going to save my... uh... stuffs for things that matter. My BP is not going to go up over anything short of pain being inflicted on my fellow human beings or our planet. With regards to other stressors in my life, I choose to remember that there’s nothing to worry about; if it’s something I have no control over, then there’s no sense worrying, and if it’s something I do have control over, then I, uh, have control over it.
The big stuff - the global environment, the global economy, the fate of my own future generations - I will fight for them in the ways that I can. That’s my raison d’être. I want to...
Leave the world better.
I have a question for you. If you could choose to accept that everyone else’s intentions are pure, that they’re doing the best they can with the information and capacity that they have in a given moment, how would your life change? Please let me know in the comments.
What do you want your legacy to be?
Christie Morden is Calgary's premier mental health coach. Her unique and revolutionary Quicknotherapy, a blend of hypnotherapy and coaching techniques, helps her clients achieve results fast and get the healing that they and their families need to break the cycle of generational emotional trauma.